Part 69: Some Sort Of Fairy-Tale Creature
Update 70: Some Sort Of Fairy-Tale CreatureFun fact one: Peonia can join you on Den battles in the Crown Tundra as well as Adventures.
Fun fact two: if you run into a Legendary you already have during an Adventure, the game lets you fight it and then refuses to let you catch it, leaving you with whatever you’ve already caught.
Fun fact three: if somebody’s connection shits itself, it kicks EVERYONE in the adventure back into single player and traps them with a bunch of AIs, basically screwing you out of your Legendary and penalizing you for restarting as if you’d bailed on real people.
Fun fact four: nobody noticed the
I left in the last post.…
Calyrex' Theme - Pokémon Sword and Shield OST
(Zamazenta, information request: Cameran Pokémon, large green head, looks like it’s wearing a crown, floats, associated with royalty and fertility.)
(Sounds like Calyrex. I never encountered it myself, but I know it was active at least as far back as Artu’s reign. He exchanged messengers with its realm in Camer in his capacity as Gudelic, I’ve discussed how his title functioned before. It never ruled its lands directly, I know that much. It preferred to have its subjects make its decisions for it.) (I think I just spotted it. Do you think it’s still active?) (I would say it’s unlikely. The last I heard of it was during Alfred’s reign; he sent missionaries north to help the first real kings suppress of the land belief in it. By the time I served under the Brother Kings it had been largely forgotten. But then, was I not mythical as well?) (If that really is Calyrex, what should I expect?) (It had a reputation for… High-handed behavior. It was the sort of creature that saw most things as beneath it and took action to keep it that way. It was a god to its subjects, after all. It communicated by possessing human oracles.) (That’s… That’s great. Can I ask you to…) (Take me out of my Pokéball. I will stay out of sight, maintain our link, and wait for your orders.) (Thanks, mate. I’ll keep you posted.)
Battle! (Calyrex) - Pokémon Sword and Shield OST
This isn’t a terribly difficult fight, but then that’s standard at this point. I took the time to try and fight it with a few different Pokémon and learned that it has a substantial movelist – and yet, more than a third of the time, it uses a move that HEALS my Pokémon instead of damaging them. I did try to catch it, but…
… That proved impossible. Eventually I just took it down.
Oi oi, what’s up?! I heard a big ruckus comin’ from over here! What’s this now, Chief? Were you havin’ a Pokémon battle?... Huh?
Please don’t antagonize the ancient divine king 
That should be obvious, human child.
I have borrowed this man’s body in order to thank you in person...so to speak. Okay, look. Can I ask you NOT to possess him? It’s a little… It makes you a little hard to trust. I’m afraid not. I require a vessel to speak with you and I’ve found no volunteers among the townsfolk. I have tried asking them myself, you understand. But they treated me like some sort of fairy-tale creature or flew into a mild panic at the sight of me. Without your assistance, I may have to go further afield. Perhaps I shall take this man with me? If I do, I shall need a permanent mouthpiece… (Okay, Zamazenta, on my mark.) (Of course, I shall a Aaugh FUCK! How remarkable, another Pokémon capable of forming a bond! It clearly lacks my experience, however. I would advise you to avoid using it in my presence.… What do you want?
… the land and give them plentiful harvests year after year. However, it seems that over many, many years, the people of this land have forgotten my existence. They used to make offerings to me every year, but even that tradition has long since been lost to the ravages of time. Without sufficient sacrifices, I lack the power I need to rejuvenate this land. By sacrifices, do you mean… Human? Are you a Continental savage? I require the residue that gathers around… Dens, I believe you call them, and the labor of my subjects. One can hardly expect me to dirty my hands with such mundane matters.… You’re looking for experience candy. I do not recognize that term. Allow me to go through this man’s mind… 
… Ah, yes. How clever you humans are! But what I need from you now is simple. In days long past, I reigned over these lands as king. The humans offered me their loyalty and respect, as I was able to bring lush vegetation to the land and give them plentiful harvests year after year. And now I have lost all but a fraction of my former power. Even my loyal steed has abandoned me… However, you were kind enough to restore my statue! That act has returned some strength to me. Human child…
Report back to me with what you learned and, if your answers are satisfactory, I shall release this man unharmed.…So now we do exactly that.
The townsfolk have plenty of two-line responses to the topic ranging from It’s only the main tourist attraction of our lovely Freezington, after all! to I think it was called Calvin! Or was it Calista?. My personal favorite?
Once we’ve talk to everyone in town, we can confirm that, while they’ve all heard of it, none of them think it’s real.
We also pick up some seeds from this guy
.
It seems the people of this land have indeed forgotten the bond they once shared with me… How unfortunate. However, I have a solution. Once, I had a steed, a Pokémon I could channel my power through. 
Without it, I am far less that I once was. With it… Perhaps the villagers know something about my... currently not-so-loyal steed. I would be in your debt if you could speak to the head of the village on my behalf. Locate it, and I shall find you once again. Until that time…
Huh?! Chief?! With a massive noggin! Or... Wait. No, it’s normal. I must’ve fallen asleep where I stood! Sorry ’bout that, Chief!
Guess I’ll head back to base and get some rest! ’Sides, it’s freezing out here! (Zamazenta, are you –) (I can feel Calyrex’s presence now, no doubt it’s listening in. As much as it pains me to say it, we should likely avoid speaking like this unless we need to.) (Understood. But…) (I am fine. It’s interference startled me, no more. Until it’s safe to speak again: Best of luck, Gloria. I have faith in you.)… 
With that, the game once again cuts us loose. Asking around the town nets us a couple of important pieces of information:
- Before Calyrex tamed it, that steed had a habit of deliberately ruining harvests. They use the term “ruffian” a lot, which seems a bit mild for something that causes famine.
- The steed was either pure white or your black.
- The steed had a favorite food.
Time to head to a new area of the Tundra.
The Giant’s Bed. I fucking hate the Giant’s Bed. Level design-wise, the place is a mess, all samey fields that wind at random, cutting off your view of any landmarks. It doesn’t hurt that the map just marks you as being in the dead center of the area no matter where you are in it, something it doesn’t always do. Just thinking about it makes me angry, so I’ll skip ahead to our destination: a set of low-lying ruins in the south-center of the Bed.
The Crown Tundra is scattered with ruins, many of which have pedestals to provide background information dumps. I’ll be avoiding them partly to avoid writing all that out and partly because the story they tell isn’t quite the story I’m telling, but mostly because Gloria doesn’t speak PokéEarly Scots.
Mayor: The soil is barren... No crop could possibly grow here now. Perhaps the lands of the Crown Tundra truly are beyond hope. No wonder our children move to the cities…
Sir, can I talk to you about the King of Bountiful Harvests? I have some questions about him, especially about his steed.Mayor: Why, of course! I’d be happy to tell you anything you want to know. But… Well, this is hardly the place for storytelling. Come to my home in Freezington. It’s better to have a nice chat in the warmth, after all!
He tells us to visit his home when we’re ready and leaves us to explore. As if I’m going to spend a second more in this place than I have to. I immediately call a skytaxi rather than walk back. Fuck that.